


Where's My Love

by GoldenEmbers



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brotherly Love, Diego Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Family Feels, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Protective Klaus Hargreeves, Regret, Sleepovers, Stuttering Diego Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25563589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenEmbers/pseuds/GoldenEmbers
Summary: Diego is struggling to come to grips with the loss of Eudora. Klaus understands what it means to lose someone you love. Sibling bonding ensues.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 77





	Where's My Love

**Author's Note:**

> This story begins with Diego's struggle but relies on Klaus' experience to see him through. There is a theme of loss throughout this story and might be difficult to read for some, please be warned. I used this song as a source of inspiration, feel free to check it out: watch?v=Ep6nGsQjWGk

* * *

He could see her through the crack in the door, the dim light in the room hiding most of the features beyond the silhouette in the bed. She shifted slightly as the beam of light from the doorway crossed her face, leading her brow to scrunch in displeasure and her body to roll away into darkness.

Diego smiled lightly.

Eudora was as much of a creature of the dark as he was, preferring to be out on duty at night and sleep during the day. She might not want to admit it but they were more alike than not.

With a light shake of his head, Diego pressed inward, treading lightly so as not to give away his position or wake his partner before he wanted her to. Almost as if sensing his presence, Eudora's eyelids fluttered as he neared the bed, then cracked open a sliver.

"Are you watching me sleep?" Eudora accused, her tone thick as she scrubbed the sleep out of her left eye and rose into a slumped position against the headboard.

Diego grinned, folding his arms across his chest and leaning back against the nearby wall, "You haven't even rolled out of the wrong side yet" he shot back.

Despite the half light of the room, he easily noticed her roll her eyes, "What are you doing here, Diego?"

"Well we had such a wonderful time last night, I figured we would continue-"

"I need to get ready for work" Eudora interrupted, noting the time on the bedside alarm, then folding back the blankets to swing her legs out of bed. Although she noticed him watching she didn't play into his game.

He seemed to sour as she moved through the room, picking up a spare shirt and sliding it over her head as she went.

"And to think I was going to make you coffee"

Brushing a few loose strands of hair back from her face, Eudora looked back to fix him with a stare, "Your coffee tastes like mud"

Diego feigned offence at her comment, but took note of the slight tilt of her lips. A hidden smile.

He trailed along behind her as she moved to exit the room, a pair of work pants swung lazily over her shoulder.

"At least my food doesn't taste like ash" he taunted, smiling again as she flipped him off but didn't bother to look back. He paused and watched idly as she entered the kitchen, making her way around cups and bowls as she began her day.

Out of habit he moved over through the adjoining living room toward the nearest window, using a finger to slide one of the blinds aside so he could peer out. The streets had already begun to fill with passing cars, pedestrians and vendors, as was so common in this part of the city.

One man in particular caught his eye; he was wearing a distinctively sharp blue suit, his black hair was slicked back and he was carrying a briefcase. Although the image brought to mind the idea of a businessman, his wandering gaze and slow pace seemed to contradict the impatient pace of the character he ought to portray.

Diego's gaze narrowed as he focused in on the abnormality, his senses naturally dialing into a sharp focus while all other things blurred into the background. It was as he drew his sight to the briefcase that the sound of shattering glass behind him tore him away from the window.

Instinctively, his stance was bent low while his hands gripped knives as if out of nowhere. Eudora met his gaze in an instant, the surprised look on her face matching his.

"Jesus, Dora, you've gotta be more careful" Diego chastised, his tension waning as he noted the glass on the floor.

To his credit, she didn't react. Before he came over, he took one last glance out of the window, cursing lightly as the man he'd been watching had stepped out of sight.

With a sigh Diego moved over to the kitchen, stepping carefully among the glass shards so as not to tread the slivers around the apartment. Eudora kept still as he quickly sought a brush and swept the mess aside, allowing her to finally move from her prison.

Except she didn't.

Diego's gaze flicked up to Eudora's, surprised to find the vacant brown stare he had thought was shock moments ago.

"Dora?"

Nothing.

Casting aside any thought for the glass, Diego straightened and softly cupped her shoulder, hoping the touch would spark some recognition.

It didn't.

With a sense of alarm building in his chest, Diego brought his other hand to her face, brushing back the hair from her eyes and lowering his head so he could get a proper look.

Her gaze remained vacant.

Diego tightened his grip on her shoulder, shaking it slightly.

Nothing.

"Eudora. Answer me!" he commanded.

A sudden spark of understanding shone in Eudora's eyes, allowing her to meet his gaze. Diego shifted his worried gaze from one honey orb to the next, attempting to pierce beyond the veil that seemed to shadow her full awareness.

"What's wrong?"

Eudora opened her mouth as if to answer but no sound came out, her brow beginning to pinch together as if in pain. Diego subconsciously began to shake his head, unable to fathom what was happening.

"What-"

Suddenly, her body went limp, forcing Diego to catch her weight.

"Dora!" his voice was sharp, his pitch heightened in surprise and worry.

Although his grip was tight, Diego made sure to handle his partner carefully, slowly lowering her down to a clean area of the floor and minding her head while his eyes raked over her body to find a reason for her disturbing manner.

It was as he backed up that he noticed a small red stain that had begun to bloom in the center of her chest, its' crimson colour indicating a sinister secret.

Diego felt his breath catch in his throat while his body felt as if he had grabbed a hold of a live wire.

"N-no no no no no no"

Dropping to his knees, Diego cradled Eudora into a seated position, one hand supporting her shoulder while the other hovered over the wound, desperately wanting to place pressure but not wanting to inflict further damage.

Eudora's pained gaze flicked over to his, a pleading message embedded in her throat. As her lips parted a rivulet of blood escaped, marking her paling colour with a damning red stain.

Diego's gaze quickly filled with tears, his sight flicking between her expression and the stain on her front. Without a second thought he reached into his pocked and flipped out his phone, fully prepared to summon medical aid despite what it might look like.

But, as fate would have it, his phone was dead.

Whipping it aside with a frustrated cry, Diego lowered Eudora back to the floor and scrambled to his feet, leaping for the phone on the kitchen counter and almost knocking it from its holder as he fought to stay his shaking hands.

After punching three of the buttons he held the phone to his ear, his mind filled with the urgent message he was desperate to deliver.

But there was no dial tone.

Diego held the phone out in front of him, staring at the object with a mixture of confusion and alarm.

_What was happening!?_

He dropped the phone and dove back over to his partner, dropping to his knees and wrenching the spare pants apart so he might use one to stem the bleeding.

The blood seeped through the fabric easily, almost as if he hadn't tried at all.

"No! _Please!_ " he begged, eyes darting back up to her sickeningly pale face. This time he couldn't catch her glance, her eyes had already rolled back in the short time he had been absent.

_No!_

_This couldn't be happening!_

_It was just a normal morning, on a normal day, containing a normal incident…._

The sickening sound of fluid in her throat drew Diego back to the all too real present, daring him to deny the situation further. In reaction to the stress, her body began to writhe, squirming for relief.

Diego quickly shuffled up to her head, his hands shaking as he turned her to the side, hoping it would allow the blood to flow out and permit a continued breath.

But the wretched noise continued.

Slipping slightly on the blood that had begun to pool on the floor, Diego quickly maneuvered himself behind Eudora, seating himself and splaying his legs so he could pull her up to lean against him.

Her strained gargled continued.

He rubbed at her back, hoping it would clear the airway while his other hand pressed the bloodied rag to her front.

" _Please_ " Diego begged, his whispers falling on deaf ears, "Please, don't do this"

Eudora continued to spasm and choke, her body now in a realm of its own as her presence left the scene.

"Eudora!"

Tears fell as if to blind him from the sight, marring his vision with the pale of death and the crimson of slaughter.

_Please, God, no…_

A shuddering sensation rattled through Eudora, echoing against his body as she finally lay still. For a moment, Diego sat motionless, his breathing seized as he fought to hear her breath.

But she was gone.

"NO!"

Careless with desperation, Diego dipped out from under her form, allowing her to fall as he moved around her body and began applying compressions.

He tried to ignore the sickening squelch that sounded each time he pumped her chest. He tried to evade glancing at the cold, dead expression while her head rolled absently on the floor to his ministrations.

"Eudora!"

There was no reply.

Steeling himself for the confrontation of mouth to mouth, Diego numbly bent over and breathed air into her lungs, his stomach rolling somewhat as the sound of air seemed to pass through the bloody hole in her chest.

Diego shuttered his mind to that reality and continued with the compressions, his focus narrowing onto the task of reviving his friend. His partner. His love.

"Come on, Eudora" Diego panted, "You can't quit"

Unlike many times before, Eudora did not offer a retort. There was no reaction. No sound or movement, no taunt or smirk. Nothing.

Diego kept going. For how long exactly, he had no idea. But by the time he was forced to stop, his arms were aching.

Letting his arms fall into his lap, Diego slumped back, his teary gaze staring into the middle distance as his body rocked slightly. He could feel his breathing growing shallow as the realization of her death forced its way into his mind. It felt like someone was forcing a spike into his chest, breaking each rib along the way, mounting the pressure in his throat as he fought to breath through it.

"Please…"

Diego bowed his head, allowing his weight to fall back as his frame shuddered. Though he couldn't believe it, the sight in front of him demanded acknowledgment.

He could almost see her blinking up at him again, rolling her eyes as she had so many times, pushing him back and telling him to stop being so dramatic.

The scent of her fragrance still hung in the air, her whisper still echoed in his ear. He could almost hear her calling his name.

"Diego?"

He shook his head, his breath hitching as he tried to calm his beating heart from giving out.

"Diego!"

Diego blinked back the tears, his instincts telling him he needed his senses clear for whatever voice was calling him on. When he next opened his eyes, he saw nothing but darkness.

A spike of alarm broke through his heartache as Diego was forced to confront this new, unexpected circumstance.

His expression caught somewhere between pain and confusion, Diego rotated his head left, then right, all while blinking profusely in an attempt to orient himself once more.

Although it was a painstakingly slow process, Diego finally managed to identify the room he was in and the figure who stood before him.

It had all been one hellish nightmare.

He was back at the Academy in his old room, with Klaus standing over him, one hand resting firmly against the unsteady rise and fall his chest. He seemed worried, his usually carefree attitude pinched with urgency and concern.

"K-Klaus?"

"Yeah D, it's just me" Klaus patted his chest slightly, offering a wan smile but still not backing up from his position.

Diego closed his eyes for a moment, hating the unshed tear that escaped and ran along his cheek. Thankfully, his brother didn't make a comment, instead waiting in silence.

With a sigh, Diego reopened his eyes and heaved himself into an upright position, leaving Klaus's hand to drop to his side while he roughly scrubbed the tears away with his arm.

Now standing alongside the bed awkwardly, Klaus pinned his arms across his chest, tucking his hands beneath his armpits in a somewhat self-comforting fashion. His keen gaze, while blurred by sleepless nights, substance abuse and memories in between, still seemed acutely aware of the situation and remained watchful of his brother.

As it became obvious Diego wouldn't be the one to initiate this conversation, Klaus came to sit beside his brother, keeping his movements slow while draping an arm around his shoulder. He considered his gesture a win when Diego didn't immediately shrug him off or raise an argument.

Despite this, it was perhaps more worrying to Klaus to note the far-off stare and bowed shoulders that seemed to possess his usually stiff and stoic sibling. He took note of Diego's hands, subconsciously picking at the scarring on his knuckles.

Only nights ago they had been covered in blood, as they so often were.

"Care to share?" Klaus nudged quietly, keeping his tone light.

"What good would that do?" Diego murmured, his tone flat and grating. He kept his stare ahead, red rimmed eyes foretelling his nightmares.

Klaus bit his lip, his brow creasing in deliberation. After a moment's hesitation, he proceeded.

"I know what it's like to lose someone…"

Diego's eyes flickered slightly, and while his stare did not draw over to his brother's, it was clear he was listening.

Klaus dropped his eyes from Diego and over to the far wall, his vision going beyond the posters to witness a distant past. One that had brought both love and misery.

"Life has always been so bloody abysmal, for me, for you, for all of us…" the tension between the brothers began to build as Klaus' speech took on a passion of its own, "-We never had an easy start, nothing was ever fair, no one understood, except maybe Mom, and even then, no one could stop good old Dad from putting us through the ringer"

Klaus paused, a chill demanding to be let loose as memories of training in the mausoleum fought to overwhelm his mission. Swallowing nervously, he continued on.

"But we ditched it all, found our own way-" Klaus' breath shuddered somewhat, "-Found love"

Diego let out a sound akin to a wet sniffle; Klaus watched from his periphery, not wanting to make his brother uncomfortable.

"I've never felt so high…so complete" his voice had drawn distant, his gaze retracing that loving smile, those pale blue eyes.

"It was intoxicating…" he sounded almost breathless now, trapped in the memories but not wanting to be free, "-It was more than a drug… More than anything" he sensed movement by his side but paid no attention, "-He was everything"

A slight pressure against his shoulder brought Klaus blinking back into the present, his heart aching as the imagery disappeared and the Academy loomed back into the forefront. It seemed in his absence, Diego had taken to leaning against him, his head somewhat bowed and eyes downcast.

Although he could not be seen, Klaus nodded in understanding.

"I know I can never go back and relive those moments… I lost many things that day. Him. Myself… I still wonder…"

Diego let out a stuttering sigh, drawing back from Klaus so he could gaze to his eyes finally. There was a pain there that Klaus wished he could undo.

"She's g-gone, Klaus" Diego relented finally, eyes shining with unshed tears.

Klaus nodded, drawing him closer. Nothing he could say would match this moment, nor fix his heart, but he tried nonetheless.

"I'm sorry, Diego"

Diego cast his eyes downward again, tears falling silently as he stared into his open hands. They seemed void of purchase, as if there should be something there but now, they were empty.

"W-what am I s-supposed t-to do now?"

Klaus felt his chest tighten and his breathing waver as his brother's broken heart bore on his shoulders, such a pleading question drawn from such a lost soul.

"Grieve" he replied simply, knowing it wouldn't be accepted.

Diego shook his head, turning back to meet Klaus' misting gaze, "I c-can't"

Klaus attempted a compassionate smile, hoping it didn't look as broken as he was becoming, "She would have wanted you to heal, Diego" he placed a hand on Diego's, balling it into his with a light squeeze.

Another tear fell as Diego tried to stop his lip from trembling, it was clear that a wore was waging beneath the surface.

"I d-don't deserve t-to h-h-h…to h-h-" whether it was his stutter or the thickening emotion that threatened to overwhelm him, Diego was unable to continue. He dropped his eyes, shaking his head as if adamant on the point.

Klaus shook his head for another reason, "You're too hard on yourself" he soothed, tightening the embrace, "I get it, you're number two, you're self-reliant, defiant and downright dangerous" he teased, hoping to inject some good-natured humour into this soul destroying realm, "-but that doesn't mean you're immortal"

Diego let out a quaking sigh, trying to stifle the tears that silently fell.

"I sh-should've saved h-her" he argued, his voice a whisper.

"It was beyond your control" Klaus denied, his voice warm but firm.

"Sh-she finally d-did things m-my way" Diego continued, "-She l-listened and i-it got her k-k-k-"

"Hey hey hey, now stop that" Klaus unwrapped his arm in one swift motion, moving from the bed to the floor so he could get level with his brother. When Diego refused to meet his stare, Klaus forced his chin up and held his hand there for a moment.

"As much as this family loves to beat ourselves to death, I'm not letting you tear yourself down over this" Klaus insisted, green eyes boring into Diego's.

"From what you told me, Dora was a woman of spirit and drive. No one told her what to do, not even your sorry ass"

Diego remained silent, his eyes flitting from one green orb to the next, searching for truth, hoping for answers.

"Even if she did take direction, she did it of her own accord" Klaus stated firmly.

He kept his gaze level, hoping he looked and sounded more confident than he felt. This all felt too confrontational to him, not his m.o at all. He was much too tired and way too sober to be dealing with all of this baggage.

But his brother needed him, now. He would be damned if he kept shirking responsibilities and letting go until he had no loved ones left to care for. Diego needed him. This was the right thing to do.

"Love can be fleeting and ever so precious" Klaus acknowledged, "-but eternal all the same"

As Diego began to crumble Klaus moved forward to embrace his brother in a hug. As his brother's grief wore on he felt a few tears of his own betray him, trailing down his cheek to soak into Diego's black turtleneck.

Klaus supposed Diego wouldn't mind. They were having a moment after all.

It was impossible to tell how much time had passed before the duo separated, the brother's noting the red-rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks as a reflection of one another.

As seemed a part of his character, Diego swept his tears away with his sleeve, sniffing loudly as he attempted to regain some manner of composure. Klaus lowered himself back to rest on his heels, rubbing at his eyes with the sleeve of his robe and noting the black stains rubbing off.

Diego smiled lightly as Klaus met his eyes once more, "I'm glad you're back"

Klaus felt a swell of warmth blossom in his chest. It must have shown through his expression since Diego's small smile widened somewhat.

"Does this mean you'll allow sleepovers again?" Klaus inquired.

Diego's smile faltered somewhat as he was taken off guard, "Perhaps"

Klaus' grin broadened and he clapped his hands together minutely, "Terrific! I'll go fetch my things"

Not one to waste an opportunity, Klaus slowly rose from the floor, wincing somewhat as his joints crackled and ached from the prolonged position. Undeterred, he moved toward the door, feeling somewhat purged of his burden and excited to partake in some late-night wine, trivia and what promised to finally be a solid night's sleep in the company of his brother.

It was as he reached for the doorknob that a hand caught his wrist and drew his gaze back into the room.

Diego was staring back at him, his usually cold stare now softened by their moment of solidarity. He seemed awkward for a moment, as if unsure how to go about things.

"Thank you, brother" he said finally. He punctuated the statement with a light smile, his eyes relaying the bulk of his sincerity.

Klaus smiled in turn, "Don't mention it" he brushed off easily.

Diego nodded, losing his hold on his brother's arm and watching as he departed from the room.

Although the loss would remain difficult for both of them, it now felt a little lighter. Diego sighed, returning to sit on his bed as he waited for Klaus' to come back.

It was in these moments that he truly appreciated having a brother in Klaus. He might be quirky and dangerous, but at the very center, his heart was always in the right place. Diego vowed to provide the same support should his brother ever need him.

He smiled lightly at the thought, a rare warmth flowing over his body. This was what having a true family felt like. Love, care, support. While no amount of talking would truly erase the pain of losing the one he loved, at least he hadn't lost everyone. His brother had taught him that, for which Diego would be forever grateful.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you were able to find comfort as the brothers found the same through each other. Please leave a review and let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading :)


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